This is on an email going around the globe, so hopefully my blatant plagiarism and credit-hogging will be noticed first. Some puns for those with active brains.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
And, my favourite, which should be read by all motorsport people who take it all too seriously;
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.