Bruce Wayne had a garage sale

I've been warned that I'm getting way too serious about my politics.

It's true. So, I thought I'd try my hand at poetry.

Ahem....



Bruce Wayne had a garage sale
His toys they had to go
Alfred got the Batmobile
Catwoman, the Lambo

His black and sleek marine machine
Went to an eco-clown
Bruce, ever the capitalist
He wished they'd all just drown



The hippy moonbats hit the sea
Off to the whale’s defence
With hope, and hemp, and attitude,
But not a boat licence.

They tangled with the Japanese
Set off an awful row
You’d think they’d learn some manners
from Obama (he would bow).

Such courage from our eco-friends
At danger they would laugh
Until the big Shona Maru
Just cut them right in half



They shed tears to their lawyers
While floating in the blue
And there did Bruce Wayne’s wish
just about come true…


.

So where the *&$#*! are youz?

In the fine tradition of crass Aussie tourism promotions, I want to reach out to all of my overseas friends, especially those who haven't already been here (and survived).




.

Christmas balls

Our Christmas get-together was going great until Buzz Lightyear tried to hit on Bratz Cowgirl.





.

Poor Santa. Poor, fat, unhealthy, evil Santa...

From the same university which brought you bogus speed-kills road safety data and climate change alarmism, now this startling expose on Santa Claus.

Monash uni boffin Nathan Grills is concerned that Santa encourages, among other things, obesity, smoking, alcoholism, sloth, lack of hygiene and drink driving. In other words, he is too politically incorrect and must change his ways, or go.

None of this bothers me much since, as a family, we don't do Santa Claus, so to speak.

What is a little disturbing is that a publicly funded university pays a professor to analyse the vices of someone who doesn't exist.

First Global Climate Warming Change alarmism, and now this. Do we need any more proof that research departments should stop receiving all that juicy taxpayer funding?

If they must harass Santa Claus, why can't scientists stop being such killjoys and spend more time coming up with stuff like this. I'm prepared to believe in a Santa who's arrival is accompanied by a thermonuclear explosion. BOOM! Merry Christmas, all.

.